


prehistoric birdwatching

by ficfucker



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Jurassic Park AU, M/M, hey i don't know what this is, i was wearing a jurassic park shirt today and here yall go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 08:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13520568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficfucker/pseuds/ficfucker
Summary: is it wrong to play god?what if playing god results in really fuckin' cool dinosaurs?





	prehistoric birdwatching

Ryan was, as he usually was whenever Buzzfeed assigned him projects, a cocktail of excitement and extraordinary fear, and he couldn’t stop fiddling with his seatbelt. His hands were shaking. He could barely even hold his camera steady and the Ford Explorer he and his coworker were in hadn’t even started to move along the track yet. 

Shane, to Ryan’s disappointment, was leaned back in his seat, to the left of Ryan, looking idly out the window like they were going birdwatching. He was skeptical of the whole thing; the revival of dinosaurs, experimenting with forces of nature that were chosen by the universe to die, allowing people to ogle at said forces like animatronics programmed to entertain.

“And to my left, you’ll see a sulking Shane-a-tops, acting like this isn’t the coolest fucking thing he’s done in his whole life,” Ryan narrated, panning his camera over so Shane’s unamused expression was caught in frame. 

“Wrong to fuck with nature, dude,” he said, making a face before turning back to the window. 

Ryan flicked his camera off. He had given up on his seatbelt.

Shane hadn’t even attempted. 

“Come on, man, I know you were a-a dinosaur kid growing up. Knew the names of all of ‘em. Did science projects and shit. How can this not be a-How is this not a dream come true?” Ryan pressed. 

“Just because I know the difference between a sauropod, a theropod, and an ornithopod doesn’t mean I think it’s…  _ right _ to revive ‘em and smack ‘em back onto Earth and display ‘em like some new fuckin’  _ cereal _ brand.” 

Ryan only understood one of those classes. Sauropod. Long-neck dinosaurs. Like Littlefoot, he thought, from the Land Before Time. 

“At least humor our viewers and  _ act _ like you’re interested. I-I mean, yeah, you’re opposed to it, but you’ve gotta be at least  _ interested _ .”

Shane was quiet a moment. The semi-robotic voice on the touch screen in the front was still listing safety precautions. 

“Yeah, I’m interested,” Shane said softly.

Ryan beamed and Shane rolled his eyes, taking off his glasses and rubbing them on the corner of his plaid shirt. 

Finally, after what seemed like years (to Ryan, at least), the car lurched forward on its metal route and Ryan tamped his feet to the floor like a child, unable to keep still as he plastered his face against his window. 

“Wow, Ryan, check out that foliage. Pretty fuckin’ neat,” Shane commented. 

Christ, he was being a dick. 

They continued along and Ryan gripped his thighs, anticipation a long fuse that was burning short to him exploding with excitement. 

“Over my shoulder here, you can witness a Ryanasaur in his natural state of being: childlike enthusiasm,” Shane said, and Ryan turned to see him holding up his camera, the first thing he had recorded all day, and despite himself, Ryan was glad. 

He was loosening up to the idea of touring the coolest speciality park on Earth. 

“Oh, sorry, guys, didn’t know I was supposed to stay aloof like Bigfoot over here. Just about to see some, ya know, fuckin’  _ dinosaurs _ ,” Ryan said, his voice deadpan and almost mocking. 

“Ryan, believer of ghosts and spooky little specters, doesn’t believe playing god is wrong!” Shane added, his voice raised, feigning surprise and slight disgust, hamming it up for the camera. 

Ryan was definitely going to edit that out. 

He would play god when they got back to L.A and delete all of Shane’s footage from the final cut. 

They were still among tall, palm-tree like vegetation and Ryan returned to his window, recording some casually, for the aesthetic fillers and swipe-screens they’d use for intros and segment cuts. All he could think about was  _ seeing _ something. Fuck touching them, being close to them, if Ryan caught a glimpse of anything prehistoric, even through binoculars, he was going to faint. 

“Real conspiracy theory solution? D.B Cooper landed here and got fuckin’ devoured by a pack of compsognathuses,” Shane joked, and Ryan absolutely lost it in a fit of giggles. 

The Explorer pulled into a clearing, no longer nestled between thick trees, and they were overlooking a large field of grass with few bushes. The air changed and things were oddly calm, the sun bright and sweet, not too warm, and Ryan could feel his heart hammering insistently. 

He looked around wildly, trying to find whatever it was he was supposed to see, and found nothing, squinting, zooming in with his camera until the scene grew fuzzy.

“Shane, I…,” Ryan started, but didn’t finish. 

Shane’s hand was on top of his on the middle seat.

Then it was wrapped around his wrist.

And then Ryan was being dragged over to Shane’s seat and forced to look out the window and Shane pointed urgently, completely silent. 

Far off in the distance, on the other side of the hill they were on, below the first initial slope of the land was a dozen or so Triceratops, grazing, near around 10 feet in height, looking somewhat similar to cows in mannerisms. 

And even that, seeing a prehistoric cow, made Ryan scream. Literally scream. 

“Dude, holy  _ fuck _ !” 

Ryan grabbed at the hand-crank handle to aggressively roll down the window, his elbow nearly colliding with Shane’s crotch, and Shane yelped, shoving at Ryan. They were both grinning like maniacs, and Ryan strained his neck out the window, Shane yanking at the back of his hoodie to keep him in the vehicle as the touch screen beeped and glowed red, warning Ryan to stop what he was doing. 

“Christ, Ryan,” Shane yelled, pulling him back into the car, and Ryan landed directly in his lap. 

“Hey-Hey, you’re excited, too! I-I just… holy fuck! Did you see them? They’re  _ huge _ !” He was gripping the front of Shane’s flannel with white knuckled fists, wanting to wring him back and forth simply because he couldn’t contain himself. 

It was cartoonish. 

It was mind blowing.

Ryan felt foolish for how he was sitting. He scooted off Shane’s lap, but now sat in the middle seat, his arm still pressed to Shane’s, craning his neck to see what else what to come next as the car, having been stopped for a moment to allow them to view the paddock, moved forward again. 

“Still think this is an abomination to God?” Ryan asked, elbowing Shane in the side.

Shane was still grinning and tried to flatten his mouth into a straight line, the corners twitching. “An abomination to God,  _ but _ , a beautiful one.” He said this like it was a scientific observation, like he was lecturing at a college. 

“And arriving next,” the automated voice recited, “is the Tyrannosaurus paddock, known in Latin as  _ Lizard King _ or  _ Tyrant Lizard _ .”

**Author's Note:**

> if you want me to continue this suggest things please !!
> 
> update: i added more to the first chapter !!
> 
> please let me know if ryan seems out of character :(


End file.
